Month: June 2016

Open Concept, What a Novel Idea

Have you ever had a meeting with someone and after that meeting you can’t stop thinking about something that was said?

I was meeting with Paula Mosher Wallace and as she was sharing her story, I saw a house that was built in the early 1900’s, it was small and every room had 4 walls and a door. P1070606 There was no seeing into the room from any other room. You only could see what was in that room if you walked in, looked through the window or the door just happened to be open when you were walking down the hallway.

The next vision I saw was what today HGTV stars would call an “open concept”.  open conecpt

You can stand in one place, look from one end to the other with nothing obstructing the view or the flow.

The more she was talking about compartmentalizing our abuse the more I found myself realizing how many times I have compartmentalized my healing.

I realized that as I have been “working on myself”, I would, for a lack of a better analogy, shut the door and not return to that room unless something came up and I needed to revisit it.  I would then go onto the next “room”, (item that I needed to work on), get it to where I thought it was “good enough” and then walk out, turn off the light and shut the door.

I realized today that by compartmentalizing my healing, that I was not working on myself also as a whole.

I thought that by working on things one at a time that they did not affect the other parts of my life.  The problem is that it all affects me and who I am.

By saying, this happened over here, so therefore it only affects this portion of me; well I am lying to myself.

I did not become a successful business owner overnight, it took months, years. It took me maturing and learning. It took adding one skill to the last to build the person I became in business.

So my challenge as I am working through my own “brokenness” and “healing”, I need to tear down some walls, place some I-Beams for structural support (God’s arms) and realize to be completely free that what is broken in the spare bedroom, really does affect the way you interact in the kitchen.

Please feel free to fill out the contact form if:

  1. You are broken and just need to know someone is praying for you
  2. You are broken are ready to heal
  3. You are broken and just don’t know where to turn

***for information about Paula Mosher Wallace  please visit her website  and learn about her book “Bloom in the Dark”.***

Who’s the fairest of them all?

She walked into the room, tears streaming, she had promised herself she would never end back up in this situation, but here she was….hurt…mad….angry….disgusted….

The words he spewed in his fit of rage were still ringing in her ears and now were haunting her very soul.

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She walked past the mirror hoping to hear “you’re the fairest of all”, but unlike a fairytale all she heard was his voice “you’re ugly”, “you’re fat”, “you need to get over yourself, I never loved you”.

How does one pick up the pieces from this?

How am I to go on?

May tomorrow never come.

 

We have all had relationships that ended badly. Some though have been worse than others. And usually once we can step back with a new perspective we can actually start to see that the warning signs had been there for many days, months or years, but we ourselves were in a state of self denial “it’s not that bad” or worse yet we were stuck on a self- fulfilling prophecy that said “well I guess this is all life has to offer me”.

How can this change for me?

How badly do I want to change?

Do I feel I am worthy?

First thing we need to do is realize we all get stuck on this cycle of letting life happen, it’s just how quickly we can get off and stay off is the bigger question.

We get in a rut. We are used to hearing words with a negative connotation and start to believe that is how we are to become.

For example: you are told from a very early age that you will never be as good as so and so, or worse yet you are told you will end up just like so and so….and you see that so and so has a really rough life and is living life just getting by or worse yet gets themselves into relationships that are dysfunctional (not working as they were intended) and codependent (putting everyone else’s needs above yourself even to the point of allowing abuse: verbal, emotional, physical, and or sexual) at their very core.

Because these words were spoken over you, usually by an adult or authority figure, you start to believe these words especially when they are coupled with actions or lack of actions that would otherwise prove those words false.

So you grow up believing this is all you are worth and to make matters worse you start allowing all aspects of your life and relationships to grow based upon this self defeating expectation that this is all you are worth.

How does one change especially if this is the only way you know how to “do life”?

Ask yourself this question:

What do I want my tomorrow to look like?

What new expectations do you want for yourself in light of who God says you are? Not man, not the world, but who God says you are?

God says you are WORTHY to be created by Him to do great things.

Ephesians 2:10 says: For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago.

So my question to you is if this is who God says we are and were created to do, then why do we stay in relationships that God truly is not a part of?

Why do we only see ourselves worthy of being a door mat?

Decide today to start seeing yourself with the same WORTH as God sees in you, and start using Gods standards before you allow yourself to get into another relationship or I can promise you one thing….you will end back up in a codependent, dysfunctional relationship.