Month: November 2019

On this day…

 

Taking off and going to Wal-Mart, Costco, Publix or any other store by myself.

Meeting a new friend for lunch, dinner, and finishing after the sun goes down.

Going to a stranger’s home for coffee.

Walking to my vehicle alone, even in the noonday sun.

If you had asked me to do any of these items (and many more) after January 2011 and prior to November 2017, I would have politely declined or found a way for my husband to take me and not leave my side.

Even though these things have once again become second nature to me, I have recently found myself being grateful to God that He healed me.

Today as I was scrolling on my Facebook Feed this came up.  Your most loved photo…

Here was the story behind that memory from 2 years ago today.

This picture was taken on the plane on the way home from Washington DC and here was my status:

I am so proud of myself. For those of you who know me, I suffer from PTSD and for the past few years have not strayed too far from Rob….but today I flew to DC by MYSELF to have meetings with 2 Congresswomen. I drove to the airport at 3:30 am and did the park and ride (thank you, Meredith Gabel Pratt, for the referral.)
Before the meetings, I walked around DC by MYSELF and took pictures. And did not get triggered… NOT even ONCE!
For those who suffer from PTSD know how big this is.

I still remember driving down 65 South that evening, calling my husband so excited that I had not been triggered. It wasn’t till a little later that I realized that God healed me that day.

 

As I was continuing to scroll, this was my memory from today 2012, almost two years after my attack and the beginning of my PTSD.

Yesterday I got an amazing phone call… it was from the Prison in Ohio. They want me to come back in the beginning of 2013 to speak to the guys again… Fast forward to today: I am still in Philippians 1 and this is what I read:

“And I want you to know, my dear brothers and sisters that everything that has happened to me here has helped to spread the Good News. For everyone here, including the whole palace guard, knows that I am in chains because of Christ. And because of my imprisonment, most of the believers here have gained confidence and boldly speak God’s message without fear.”

Why do I think this scripture is so cool? Because almost 2 years ago is when I was attacked: I did not see how God could use that for His kingdom. But I was wrong, because of the attack I now have been able to speak to groups in other states about being a victim of gang targeted violence and God’s forgiveness. Without God’s forgiveness in my life, I would never have been able to set foot back in our local jail week after week teaching; knowing that at any given moment he could be sitting across from me.

God wants to use all of our circumstances for His kingdom work. So as you go through your day watch for God to open doors for you to share with either words, a hug or even a prayer with someone who needs to know there is hope and they are not alone.

So how does this apply to 2018? As I have attempted to skillfully navigate my new life in Florida, I find myself in awe of God’s grace and mercy. I cannot tell you how many times over the last year, I have said a prayer of Thanksgiving, that I have been freed. I find myself at least weekly thanking God not only for the freedom from PTSD but that He is allowing everything I have gone through for the past 53 years of life, to be used in some form or fashion in a place I now call home.

What are you holding on to? What has you “stuck” saying there is no way I can overcome that?

I thought mine was PTSD, but GOD!

He is waiting to heal you so He can use your story to heal others.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.  Romans 8:28 (NIV)

Fanning into Flames

For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands. 2 Timothy 1:6

Have you ever had a common theme keep showing up? And I don’t mean because you are reading a book in a series or going through a Bible study that is dealing with a particular subject.

I am talking about out of the blue, you are driving and you see an object. Then you get home and there it is again. You turn on your favorite television show and now they are talking about it. Then before you go to bed you are scrolling on social media and there’s an article or meme that talks about the same thing?

When this happens to me, by about the third encounter, I start to take notice. But when God keeps putting in my path, I decide it’s time to ask Him why?

The past month I have either heard or seen something related to, “Fan into Flames.”

I have heard songs on the radio about being on fire for your city.

Even radio personalities have talked about embers and how you need to blow on them to get the fire going. They were actually talking about a bonfire and roasting marshmallows, but it was another encounter that God used to get my attention.

I knew there was a verse about fanning into flame the gift of God, but didn’t stop to put in the time to research it. Then as I was listening to a podcast about the Holy Spirit, I wrote this down,

“The Spirit can’t fill you when you are filled with so much of the world. Is your life on fire for the wrong things?”

OUCH!

Again though I didn’t stop like God wanted me to, I just wrote it and kept on with my day.

As I was scrolling my photos, this meme was front and center. I had forgotten I saved it as a picture. I decided it was time to sit before the Lord and look for that verse. I found it in Timothy but just like God, it starts with the phrase, “For this Reason”. When you see these words or “likewise, therefore, etc” you need to read above it to find out what it is referring to.

Here in Timothy, Paul is saying, “I am reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also.” Paul is reminding Timothy of his heritage in the faith, then he says “for this reason… fan into flame the gift of God…”

God has given me gifts.

I have the gift of encouragement.

The gift of teaching.

The gift of healing (emotional).

The gift of intercessory prayer.

Over the past few years, I have put those gifting’s on the back burner. Even to the point that I haven’t used them.

But God…

So I thought it was just about the “fan into flames….” but the verses after this I think are just as important and something He wanted me to start remembering, and therefore start being obedient to His guidance.

For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline. So do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord or of me His prisoner. Rather, join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God.

Do I want to “suffer” again, by being beaten?

NO! But “suffering” this time, has taken on a different form.

It required moving over 800 miles away from family and comfort. It moved me to a place where pictures make it look like Paradise and a life of luxury.

The truth is, there is no way to spin it, I once again know what it means to suffer for the gospel, and I am learning to lean into the power of God, fan into flames the gifts I have been equipped with, stand firm in the power of the Spirit and not be ashamed of the testimony God has given me or of His testimony as to why we are here.