Life, God and Your Purpose

I saw a meme on social media that said “He’s a I don’t care how far you’ve run, just come home, kind of God.”

As exciting this news is, and it is true, for the most part, God is also a just God and He does have a limit to our disobedience and will not be mocked.

Recently I attended a workshop with George Barna. He gave us statistic after statistic that most self professing Christians are in name only. Matter of fact he is quoted as saying  “’Christian’ has become somewhat of a generic term rather than a name that reflects a deep commitment to passionately pursuing and being like Jesus Christ.”

During the workshop that I attended he stated that only 7% of the population are actually what he would call “Integrated Disciples”, those who actually are working towards a deeper relationship with, while following the teachings of, Jesus.

Here is my challenge when standing on a promise that has an amazing outcome for us, the person. Remember that there is also another side to the story.  There are plenty of examples in the Bible where God quit calling and gave them over to their sinful desires or destroyed them completely.

Sodom and Gomorrah ~ Genesis 19
The story of following Korah in Numbers ~16, God opened up the earth, they fell in and then he closed it back up.
The Flood ~ Genesis 6
Balaam and the Donkey ~ Numbers 22

I know those examples are from the Old Testament, but Paul talks about it in Romans 1, just 24 years after Christ ascended into heaven.

Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts ( Romans 1:24)

Furthermore, just as they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, so God gave them over to a depraved mind, (Romans 1:28)

Do we really want to see how far we can run? Matthew, Mark and even the book of Acts talk about that we don’t know the day or hour….

“But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. (Matthew 24:36)

No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. (Mark 13:32)

Jesus replied, “It is not for you to know times or seasons that the Father has fixed by His own authority. (Acts 1:7)

So instead of seeing just how long God’s patience really is, remember this verse.

That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things under the earth; And that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

Not sure about you, but I would much rather be bowing because of the relationship I had with Him and doing the work He called me to with the time I have left.

But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” Acts 1:8

What is God prompting you to do today?
Is it time to quit running before it’s too late?

If you don’t know what any of this means or you don’t have a personal relationship with Christ, reach out today to your local church. Reach out to your friend who has a personal relationship. Or reach out to a local pastor or minister. Just reach out before it’s too late.

Genesis Overview – part 1



Genesis may be the first book you come to when you open up your Bible, but did you know that Job was actually written approximately five hundred years before, around the time Joseph (from chapters 37:1 through 50:26) was dying? Genesis was written by Moses, when he was between 76 and 116 years old. Not only did he write Genesis, but he also wrote Exodus, Leviticus, Number and most of Deuteronomy was also and during the same time period. These five books are also known as the Pentateuch and were all written around 1450-1410.

Genesis starts with God creating the world and everything in it in six days. The first three chapters not only cover the creation of man and woman in the image of God (Genesis 1:27) and everything in it, it also includes what is known as the “Fall of Man.” God bans man from the garden for his disobedience and by chapter four, we have our first sibling rivalry and murder. By chapter 6 God has had it with the world. Starting in verse 5, “The Lord saw how great the wickedness of the human race had become on the earth, and that every inclination of the thoughts of the human heart was only evil all the time. The Lord regretted that He had made human beings on the earth and His heart was greatly troubled.” If you take the time to add up the ages of descendants, we can figure that starting with Adam in chapter 1 and ending with Noah and the flood, was approximately 1600-1700 years.

When I think that in six chapters, God has created everything in the world, including man and woman and has completely gotten flabbergasted with what He created, because they were evil, I start to really thank Him that in chapter 8 He says “Never again will I curse the ground because of humans, even though every inclination of the human heart is evil from childhood. And never again will I destroy all living creatures, as I have done.” He then adds in chapter 9, I establish my covenant with you: Never again will all life be destroyed by the waters of a flood; never again will there be a flood to destroy the earth.And God said, “This is the sign of the covenant I am making between me and you and every living creature with you, a covenant for all generations to come: I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth.” I love it when rainbows come out after a rainstorm. It is a wonderful reminder of God’s promises all those thousands of years ago.

Chapters 11 through 25 find once again man and woman taking matters in their own hands and not waiting on the promise that He gave. This time the promise was in the form of an heir. In these chapters you will be introduced to Abram and Sarai. God has called Abram to leave his family. The promise is that God will make him a great nation. (Genesis 12:2) Abram at age 75 did as God instructed and took off for another land. In verse 7 of chapter 12 it says that God appeared to Abram and told him that his offspring would get this land. You would think everything was great but just a few short verses later, Abram is telling Sarai to lie and say she is his sister, so they would live. (Chapter 12:10-20)

After getting out of that situation, in Chapter 13, The Lord said to Abram after Lot had parted from him, “Look around from where you are, to the north and south, to the east and west. All the land that you see I will give to you and your offspring forever. I will make your offspring like the dust of the earth, so that if anyone could count the dust, then your offspring could be counted.

The Lord not only told Abram about the promise once again, but He reiterated it again in chapter 15, but by the next chapter Sarai has had it waiting for God and took matters into her own hands because she is old and has no children, so therefore no heir, that God keeps talking about. Sarai gives to Abram her maidservant, Hagar and she gets pregnant and has a son. Abram is 86 years old at this time. It has already been 11 years since God originally gave the promise to Abram, and Sarai is tired of waiting, but then she gets mad at the situation and tells Abram it is his fault.

You would have hoped that God would have taken pity and sped up His timeline but no. He had Sarai, who has now had a name change to Sarah and Abram became Abraham (Genesis 17) wait another 13 years to have her very own son (chapter 21). Sarah was 90 years old when Isaac was born. We finish the story of Abraham with God seeking to see who he loved more. Isaac or God? Read Genesis 22. In Chapter 23, not only is Sarah’s death reported, but her age is as well. Sarah is the only woman to have her age recorded in the Bible. Most scholars agree that it was given to show the miraculous power of God and His promise.

And by faith even Sarah, who was past childbearing age, was enabled to bear children because she considered him faithful who had made the promise. Hebrews 11:11

Think about all that has happened and we are only half way through Genesis and we have covered over 2000 years.

Jude

In September 2021, Christian Post wrote an article and I wanted to share a few statistics from it.  

176 Million  American adults who identify as a Christian just 6% actually hold a biblical worldview. 

A biblical worldview  means that every decision and action is shaped by the Truth that was from the beginning—Jesus Christ.

What is scary about the other 94% can be summed up by this statement from George Barna, the lead researcher at the Cultural Research Center.  

 “’Christian’ has become somewhat of a generic term rather than a name that reflects a deep commitment to passionately pursuing and being like Jesus Christ.”

Here are some other stats that I want to look at before we get into the book of Jude. 

  • 62% of self-identified born-again Christians contend that the Holy Spirit is not a real, living being but is merely a symbol of God’s power, presence or purity.
  • 61% say that all religious faiths are of equal value.
  • 60% believe that if a person is good enough, or does enough good things, they can earn their way into Heaven.
  • But of those who are part of the 6% that hold to the Biblical Worldview:
  • 25% say there is no absolute moral truth.
  • 33% believe in karma.
  • 39% contend that the Holy Spirit is not a real, living being but is merely a symbol of God’s power, presence, or purity;
  • 42% believe that having faith matters more than which faith you pursue;
  • 52% argue that people are basically good. —

Jude may be the smallest book of the Bible with only one chapter and twenty-five verses, but I feel it needs to be read regularly as part of a healthy walk with our Lord, especially seeing that even the 6% of those who call themselves Christians and believe in a Biblical worldview, are still allowing the world to dictate their belief system. 

Jude has been equated to that buzzing from not wearing your seatbelt. It gets so irritating you find a way to have it disabled. Or the constant chirping of the smoke detector. Instead of trying to figure out why it’s constantly making the noise,  you disable it all together, because it’s just annoying. So we just gloss over what Jude has to say.

Who was Jude? Did you know that he was Jesus’s half brother? Verse 1 says: Jude, a servant of Jesus Christ and brother of James. Paul writes in Galatians 1:19 I saw none of the other apostles- only James, the Lord’s brother.

It is said that Jude was written between the years 65-80 A.D, This is only 65- 80 years after Jesus was born and Jesus would have only been gone from this earth, 32-47 years. So what does that mean for us as believers almost 2000 years later?  

In 2 Timothy 4, Paul warns Timothy:

For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear.

I think the warnings you will read about in Jude, need to be examined closely in today’s church and the life of a Christian. 

After Jude introduced who he was, and did you notice he left out he was Jesus’s brother? Jude  immediately stated that although he was eager to write about salvation they all shared, he felt compelled to write instead about contending for their faith. 

I think the fact that Jude was not actually written to a specific church, but to a people group,  Jewish Christians, speaks volumes that there is much we can learn from his letter. Jude immediately calls out and says that there are those who have secretly slipped in and are ungodly perverting the grace of our God into a license for immortality and deny Jesus.

Once again Jude goes into “I know you already know this..” and gives three examples that they would have known about.. 

The first is where the Isrealites, although they had been delivered from Egypt, refused to trust God and enter the promised land. Numbers 14:26-39 

The second example is about the angels who did not keep their positions and God put them in chains of darkness to be held for judgment. 2 Peter 2:4

And thirdly Jude used the example of Sodom and Gomorrah. Genesis 19

So we are now eight verses in and Jude says “In the same way…..” 

As I was studying this section of verses one thing that stood out to me was that with Michael, the Archangel while disputing with the devil. It says that Michael did not himself dare to condemn him for slander but said “The Lord rebuke you!”  As I studied that further it struck me how we have become nonchalant when it comes to satan. Many say, myself included, “I know how the story ends and satan is defeated.” As true of a statement that is, we still have to get to the end times and before that time, we need to NOT take satans supernatural powers of evil lightly and not become arrogant about how defeated he will be. Even though he will be destroyed  completely, we need to remember that until that time, his job is to render Christians complacent and ineffective. And if he was already using people in 70 AD think how much more he is using people today. 

Verse 11, once again starts by mentioning events from the Old Testament. They have taken the way of Cain. If you remember from Genesis 4 Cain got mad because when he brought an offering before the Lord, it wasn’t looked favorably on but Able, his brother, was from the fattened and first born of the flock. Then the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast?  If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.”

Jude then said they rushed for profit into Balaam’s error. Numbers 22 tells the story how Balaam inquired of the Lord, and when those who were requesting his help didn’t like the answer, Balaam inquired again. The Lord allowed him to go, but got very upset, and this is where the talking donkey comes in. 

The verse ends with “they have been destroyed in Korah’s rebellions.”  Numbers 16 tells of this story and how the people had risen against Moses and here is God’s answer. 

As soon as he finished saying all this, the ground under them split apart  and the earth opened its mouth and swallowed them and their households, and all those associated with Korah, together with their possessions. They went down alive into the realm of the dead, with everything they owned; the earth closed over them, and they perished and were gone from the community.

In verse 12 Jude talks about “Love Feasts” and shepherds that only feed themselves. When this was written the Lord’s Supper was celebrated with a full meal prior to communion. The meal was called a “Love Feast”, it was a sacred time of fellowship to prepare one’s heart for Communion. Unfortunately it had turned into a time of gluttony and drunkenness, while many in the area were hungry.  In regards to shepherds who only feed themselves, once again in the Old Testament there was a warning for this as well. Ezekiel 34. 

‘You shepherds of Israel have only been feeding yourselves. It will be very bad for you! Why don’t you shepherds feed the flock? 

You have not made the weak strong. You have not cared for the sick sheep. You have not put bandages on the sheep that were hurt. Some of the sheep wandered away, and you did not go get them and bring them back. You did not go to look for the lost sheep. No, you were cruel and severe—that’s the way you tried to lead the sheep! “‘And now the sheep are scattered because there was no shepherd. 

 “I am against the shepherds. I will demand my sheep from them. I will fire them. They will not be my shepherds anymore.”

Strong words from the Lord and remember even though this is Old Testament, and it isn’t relevant for today, Jesus said this in Matthew, 

“Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. Matthew 5:17

And Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. Hebrews 13:8

Then Enoch is used as an example. Enoch actually never died. He was walking with the Lord and then he wasn’t (Genesis 5:24, he was 365 years old) 

In the last nine verses of Jude, he is asking the recipients of this letter to fight for God’s truth until Jesus comes back. He warns, just like Paul does in many of his writings, to be mindful in the last days there will be those who follow their own ungodly desires. They will divide the church, they will follow natural instincts and won’t be led by the Spirit, which according to the article mentioned at the beginning, 39% of those who have a Biblical worldview, don’t believe that the Holy Spirit, part of the Trinity, but not a real, living being but is merely a symbol of God’s power, presence, or purity;

But 2 Corinthian 1:21-22 says: Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us,set his seal of ownership on us, and put his Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.

And as Jude closes out his letter, he states

 To him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy— to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore! Amen.

We need to remember it is only through standing firm in the Lord, through our relationship with Jesus Christ that we can stand firm. 

Romans

Romans was Paul’s sixth letter to be written, even though it is the first recorded in our modern day Bibles. Scholars say that he most likely was in Corinth, preparing to go to Jerusalem. Romans was written in approximately 57 A.D. which would have been about 20 years after his Damascus Road experience. (Acts 9).  In order to understand the gravity of Paul’s writing about holy and righteous living, you have to remember that Paul used to be Saul, prior to the conversion, and his job was to persecute those who were followers of Jesus (Acts 9:13).

The church (people, not a place, because they would have met in homes not a central location) most likely was started by converted Jews who were in Jerusalem possibly even during Pentecost, (Acts 2). The church in Rome was made up of rich, poor, free, slave, men, women, Jews, Gentiles, Roman citizens and even travelers. During this time the Roman government didn’t mess with religious groups that were polythiesitc; the worship of more than one god. This was a problem for the Jews and Gentile Christians because they were monothesitc: the belief there is only one God. During Emperor Claudius’s reign (AD 10-54) he made the Jewish expulsion decree, (49 AD). Under this decree the Jews were banished from Rome (Acts 18:1-2). This is when it is said that the church exploded under Gentile leadership, but you have to understand that no other apostle nor Paul (Romans 1:10)  had been there to start a church or to bring leadership. 

 It wasn’t until Emperor Nero took over that he reversed the Jewish decree and those who had fled were able to return, such as Priscilla and Aquila, who returned to Rome in 55 AD and had a church in their home (Romans 16). Paul’s letter to the church in Rome also came as the Jewish Christians were returning. As you read Romans you will see he is getting those he was writing to, to come together in the unity of Christ, verses looking at their differences. He asks many questions to get the recipient of the letter to understand that God loves both the Jew and the Gentile (Romans 3:9 and Romans 3:29)  and that they all have fallen short (Romans 3:23) and are in need of a Savior (Romans 6:23).   

One thing you have to remember is that this was a letter. It didn’t have chapters and verses. When the Bible was translated, titles, chapters, and verses were added. To get the fullness of any book that Paul wrote, you need to read it in one sitting as a whole. Sometimes I like to cut and paste onto a word document and take out all the extras so I can study without the distraction. 

Why read Romans? 

Theologians say that Romans is a very clear and the most systematic presentation of Christian doctrine. They have also said it reads more like a theological essay.  Unlike Paul’s other books, where he was writing to address a problem or issue, some say Paul wrote Romans as a prelude to his visit, to prepare them for what he had to say. In Romans 1 verse 7 Paul immediately tells you who he is writing this letter for:  I am writing to all of you in Rome who are loved by God and are called to be his own holy people. Romans 1:7 (NLT)

One of the things that keeps me on my toes in Romans is the word “therefore.” When you study hermeneutics you are taught to discover the truths and values expressed in the Bible. Well in the King James Version, Paul used the word “therefore” twenty seven times in the book of Romans? This is significant because when you see the word “therefore,” you are taught to go back and search why the therefore is there and for what reason.  So as you are reading Romans keep a watchful eye for Paul’s language and what he wants you to learn. 

After Paul has written his formalities, he doesn’t waste any more ink on flowery language but starts preaching to the church in Rome that there are those who even though they knew God they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him. The verse goes on to say that their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. (Romans 1:21-23)

He then writes about how God abandoned them to do whatever shameful things their hearts desired (Romans 1:24). Paul continues to write about the sinfulness of all people, and how we have all been condemned due to our rebellion against God but he then explains how forgiveness was available through faith in Christ and showed what believers can experience in life through their new faith. Eternal Life. The Free Gift (Romans 3:10, 3:24, 5:8, 6:23)

Then you get to Chapter 12 and Paul says “Therefore in view of God’s mercy…”  He doesn’t want the Roman people to just get saved and then live a life like the world. No, he tells them to offer their bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God. 

As Paul ends his letter with all his “greets and salutes”, he makes one more appeal to the church. He wants them to watch out for those who cause divisions or teach contrary to what they have been taught. He wants the church to stay away from them. Paul even goes on to say that those people are not serving Christ our Lord but are self-serving. He warns of their smooth talk, and glowing words that deceive innocent people. Even though Romans was written over 1900 years ago, we can learn so much from not only reading it often but living it out, especially Romans 12:1-2 

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. (NIV)

Don’t become a Slave to the Lender

The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is slave to the lender. Proverbs 22:7 (NIV)

I wish I could tell you that I have always been good at saving money, but that is a discipline that was never taught to me as a child as we didn’t have money to spare.

Growing up I watched my mom pinch every penny to make sure her three children were fed and I am pretty sure that a lesson on money management was not on her parenting radar.  So unfortunately when I had money, I spent money.

Fast forward a few decades, I now teach budgeting classes. I use the verse from Proverbs  

The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is slave to the lender.  Proverbs 22:7 (NIV)

to teach men and women about the dangers of credit cards, we tote the note lots and cash advance places. 

But now there is a new danger, especially to newly opened businesses, that I hadn’t given much thought to, until recently. 

Being a newly registered business, when the junk mail started arriving, I just assumed I had gotten on someone’s list. I rarely open this type of mail but for some reason this letter caught my attention. 

DO NOT DISCARD

“DO NOT DISCARD”

Inside was a “pay to the order of” and in very fine letters, it read “this is not a check, it is a loan and by cashing it you are agreeing to our terms.”  This made me go back and open the rest of the mail. 

In a week’s time I had “checks” I could have cashed totaling over $100 thousand dollars.

 

What if I hadn’t known any better? What if I truly thought it was a gift? Stranger things have happened right? 

The challenge would have been when all those loans had come due.  They will get their money some way and truth be told, how many of us actually read all the terms and conditions? 

When you sign your name and either cash or deposit that check, your payment plan starts and you become a slave to that lender. 

And if all those checks weren’t bad enough, the pre-approved credit cards started piling up as well. 

Here is my two cents: Don’t fall for the schemes of those who send you unsolicited mail. If you are in need of a line of credit or a credit card, talk with a financial advisor. 

If you have already fallen prey, make a plan to get out from underneath that obligation as soon as possible. Whether that be by paying it off or coming up with a plan to pay it off quicker. 

Don’t do it alone.  

Find a coach to help keep you accountable and to get your cash flowing a different way.  

There is also another verse in the Bible that I love, especially for new businesses. 

Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin,
to see the plumb line in Zerubbabel’s hand.” Zechariah 4:10 (NLT)

And lastly the verse in Luke is great for business owners.


 “If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones.
But if you are dishonest in little things, you won’t be honest with greater responsibilities.
Luke 16:10 (NLT)

Living for the Sonrise

My husband is the baby of seven and in 2015 we started taking a sibling family vacation to the Outer Banks. Rob’s mom and dad, who are in their 90’s, also join the fun week at the beach. So when I heard what sounded like feet scuffling around before sunrise, I jumped up to check.

To my surprise it was just the oldest brother and brother-in-law standing in front of the windows looking out towards the ocean. 

Pink. 

Purple.

Orange.

Blue. 

Yellow.

For fifteen minutes I was mesmerized and took photos from every angle.  I even ventured out to the ocean. I thought the show was over so I decided a cup of coffee was in order. I am not sure what exactly happened to make me turn around and look one more time, but I am glad I did; the sun was just beginning to peak over the horizon of the ocean. 

The colors were breathtaking. So I joined the picture taking posse

The colors were even more stunning as the actual sun made its appearance for the day. 

I then realized that all the prior shades that painted the sky was just the precursor to the sun rising and the beauty it brought. 

This made me think of my walk with the Lord on a daily basis. I love watching the Lord work in my life, but this is just a precursor to what my eternal life will be.  

My prayer is that I never tire of the waiting, turn my back and miss the Sonrise. 

Why do I even bring this up?

My heart has been saddened recently as acquaintances and those who are considered celebrity Chrisitians have walked away from and even denounced their faith. 

Over the years there have been preachers/teachers with pretty big platforms that have taught things like the Bible is not the Word of God. They have taught that Hell is not really real.  And there are denominations that preach that you can live how you wish and still make it to heaven. 

I can’t even imagine how this must break the Fathers heart but Jesus teaches that there is an enemy who is roaming.

Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.
1 Peter 5:8 (NIV)

God’s Word also teaches in John 10 that there is a thief whose purpose is to kill, steal and destroy. It also teaches in Matthew 7 that there are wolves who come in sheep’s clothing 

“Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves.
Matthew 7:15 (NIV)

In Timothy, Paul writes

For a time is coming when people will no longer listen to sound and wholesome teaching. They will follow their own desires and will look for teachers who will tell them whatever their itching ears want to hear. 2 Timothy 4:3 (NLT)

But before that in 2 Timothy, Paul writes this about people who are false teachers. 

They are the kind who work their way into people’s homes and win the confidence of vulnerable women who are burdened with the guilt of sin and controlled by various desires.  (Such women are forever following new teachings, but they are never able to understand the truth.) 2Timothy 3:6-7 (NLT)

As a woman who was burdened with guilt of sin and controlled by various desires, I am grateful for a husband who grew up in the church and teaches the truth of scriptures. He in turn has taught me to be discerning because today the world we live in has more wolves disguised as sheep than I ever thought possible and according to the Word… it will only get worse. 

So my prayer is that you will have the stamina to watch the beauty of God working in your life on a daily basis and be eagerly waiting when our Bridegroom returns.

The Tenth Anniversary… and the unsung hero

Have you ever realized your life consists of specific time frames? 

Before I was married. After I was married. 

Before I had children. After I had children. 

When I was a kid. After I left home. 

Hopefully you get the point. These frames of times can bring a feeling of joy or pain. We also use these as a reference of before and after especially when telling a story. 

I have a few frames that detail my life and today marks the tenth anniversary of a moment in time that changed so much about how I function in life. 

January 20, 2011 started just like most mornings. I sat down, had my coffee and quiet time. The weather was sunny and chilly on that day, very much like it is today. I rushed off to Nashville ten years ago with no thought that today would be the day that someone thought I was a threat and needed to be silenced. 

My Facebook status from today ten years ago was this. 

Thank you all for the prayers. I look like Rocky at the end of the fight scene. Pray that I do not have to have surgery on Wednesday and that my sight will not be affected. 

That was all I was worried about at that point in time. No surgery and my sight. The letters PTSD weren’t even part of my vocabulary, let alone the word Anxiety. 

For those who have followed this decade old saga knows that I have talked about all different aspects of it. And have even celebrated victories of healing. But for this anniversary I want to share a story that hasn’t had much attention and is still something that we have to overcome, even today. 

After the attack, and when the diagnosis of PTSD was given and the anxiety started to rear its ugly head, I, the victim was offered support and counseling. My husband, strong and brave spent the next few years being my over-protector because I was never sure when and where the triggers would happen. 

Then the healing started and I would venture out more and more by myself. I had such a great support system and my husband was extremely happy that I had been healed, but when a crime has been committed there are the victims, and then what I call the secondary victims.   

My husband, a secondary victim has silently dealt with this for ten years. He went from having lunch, planning a mission trip to being guilt ridden that he should have been there to protect me. 

He has felt anger that someone actually took their hands and hurt his bride. His anger wanted to find this person and hurt them as well. With all the support I received there was no one to talk to or work through his feelings. Mine always came first. 

Now that we are a decade past that dreadful phone call he received, I wish I could say he has been freed.  On Monday this week, he woke up with unexplained anxiety. I had it as well. It wasn’t debilitating, it was just present. That afternoon I had to write the date for something and it hit me that this was the anniversary week. I explained that to Rob and just a few minutes later he told me that the anxiety had lifted.

Your subconscious does funny things like that and you may go hours or even days without realizing where the anxiety, anger etc stemmed from. 

So today as I celebrate the fact I am still here on this earth, my prayer is for all the secondary victims who haven’t found healing. I pray even if it’s as simple as someone to talk to, they will reach out or someone will reach out to them. 

And I thank God for my hero… my husband who has sacrificed so I could heal.

Lord I am sorry for what I have made it

Almost twenty years ago my husband found these verses in Romans. We quickly adopted them as our life verses. 

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Romans 12:1-2 (NIV)

We decided in 2002 that we were no longer going to go with the flow of society but go against the grain.  We were going to live this out every day. We would renew our mind and be transformed. We wanted to offer our bodies as a living sacrifice. We were ready to go and do what the Lord asked us to do. 

Fast forward to 2020. I have always known there was a “therefore” to start Romans 12. I had also been told that you always need to stop and find out what the “therefore”is there for. 

Ok I get it better late than never right? 

I decided to just go back one chapter to 11, and start reading. Wow! I think I had skipped that chapter in all my readings. Paul is giving his partial resume, then he is talking about how we have been grafted into the family of God. I was really loving it until I turned the page in my Bible and read verse 35. 

“Who has ever given to God, that God should repay them?

In following the rabbit trail of reference verses it took me to Job chapter 41 verse 11. God is talking: 

Who has a claim against Me that I must pay? Everything under heaven belongs to Me.

Why did those verses bring me to my knees? Because I need to repent. I cannot tell you how many times I have prayed this prayer; 

“Lord thank you for allowing me to be your hands and feet.” 

Then in the next breath would come this… 

“Lord when will it be my turn to see a blessing? I have done all this for You. When, Lord? I am tired.”

When God showed us the verses in Romans it was supposed to be a motto to live by. It ended up being the foundation to a ministry that was extremely taxing, not just monetarily, but also physically and mentally. 

I am forever grateful that I was afforded the opportunity to be in full time ministry for so long. I am not proud of the jealousy, competition, and the business it became. Instead of a time to walk in a relationship similar to the outline found in Titus 2, it became about numbers of lives changed on a spreadsheet in order to keep the funders happy. 

And in turn my prayer was no longer, “God I offer my body as a living sacrifice,” but “Lord, look what I am giving up. So what’s in it for me?”

My prayer for 2021 is going to be, Lord, I offer myself. Grant me knowledge and wisdom that can only come from you. Lord embolden me to tell others about Your greatness, not because of what You may or may not do, but because of Who You are.” 

Our job as Christ followers is to glorify God for no other reason than because He Is the Great I AM. I will end with Psalms 145:1-3 (NIV)


I will exalt you, my God the King; I will praise your name for ever and ever. Every day I will praise you and extol your name for ever and ever. Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise; His greatness no one can fathom.

“It” will Rule You

As I was researching the scriptures for a study I am writing, these verses in Genesis stood out.

Then the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.” Genesis 4:6-7 (NIV)

Cain’s offering was not acceptable to the Lord. The scriptures record just earlier in the paragraph that “In the course of time Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the Lord.” (vs3)

In the course of time Cain brought some of the fruits… not first fruits… just some.

Then the Lord continues talking with Cain. “Why are you angry?”

I wonder how many times God really wants to look at us and ask “Why are you upset?” 

God already knew Cain’s heart. God was warning him. Sin is crouching at your door. It desires to have you. You MUST rule over it. 

This was a warning to a man whose anger was about to get the best of him. Not but a few verses later, Cain has killed Abel. 

This made me think how many warnings God has given us? Sin is crouching at your door…. YOU MUST RULE OVER IT… 

The problem is many times we get in a cycle of letting life happen and therefore we allow the desire of “it” to rule us. 

What has God been warning you to rule over before it takes you? 

Cain’s was anger and jealousy. 

Is yours anger or losing your temper? 

Is it gossip, jealousy or a sexual sin?

What about laziness? Or is it being a work-a-holic? 

Maybe it’s an addiction that you may find yourself slipping back into? 

I pray today is the day that you listen to the Lord and heed His warning to start ruling over “it” before the consequences of it taking over you involve others and not just yourself. 

The Day I Questioned: Would I Have Been Served

The morning started off with a bang. The fog wasn’t the thickest she had ever seen, but for whatever reason this type of weather made drivers lose their minds. She had already been called out to more than a dozen accidents and was grateful that the majority were minor fender benders. 

She had been patrolling the small country town less than a month, and it was apparent that she wasn’t from around there. Being new to this particular force, she decided her mission was to make it work, not only professionally but also socially. 

Driving through the town square, she was greeted with ecstatic waves from children who appeared happy that school had been canceled once again for inclement weather. Seeing the families embarking on the town, reminded her that the forecast was for snow but feeling the heat from the rays permeating the glass and looking at the dashboard where it read the outside temperature was sixty-four degrees, she started to chuckle.  

The grumble coming from her stomach told her it was time to stop for lunch.  Turning back west to make one more round through the town, she spotted it. The local burger joint that many had been talking about. Exiting her vehicle, the smell of greasy burgers made her mouth water.  And if she wasn’t sold on it yet, written across the front plate glass window were the years in a row the owner had been given bragging rights to the best burger in thirteen counties. 

Taking the few short steps to enter the building, she did a double take. Yep, there was an open sign. As she placed her petite hand on the stainless steel door handle, a spark made her jump but didn’t stop her from walking in the door. 

Once in she wasn’t sure she was that hungry anymore. The waitress was behind the bar when their eyes met. The server’s smile quickly turned to a look of disgust and she did a swift turn of the head.  

Lisa, being a police officer was trained to watch for hidden words and to be aware of her surroundings, but today she missed out on all the subtleties and took a seat.  After what seemed to take longer than she thought was permissible, seeing only three other tables were occupied and they had clearly been eating for a while, the server came to take her order.

“What do you want?” 

The server’s tone caught Lisa off guard and by this time, her radio was going off in her ear and she would need to forgo lunch right now. 

“I’m sorry.” Lisa replied, “I need to take this call.” 

As she turned to walk out the door, a typed sign, in large, bold letters caught her attention. 

“WE RESERVE THE RIGHT TO REFUSE SERVICE TO ANYONE, ANYTIME” 

Not wanting to cause a scene, she had to wonder, was it the uniform or the color of her skin? 

This may or may not be a fictional story, but in my recent travels to a very small town, as I entered the building, I felt something just not right. There was just an aura that made my antennas go up. 

Taking a seat, I started to look around. Sure enough I spotted a sign “WE RESERVE THE RIGHT TO REFUSE SERVICE TO ANYONE, ANYTIME.”

For the next thirty minutes I was on edge. 

What did that sign mean? 

Why was that sign there? 

If I were a police officer would I have been welcome?

If I were black would I have been welcome?

If I had worn a political shirt that she didn’t agree with, would I have been served? 

If I had been of a different sexual orientation would I have been served? 

I hate to admit the hamburger was amazing, and on the same note I hate to admit that I supported an establishment where many of my friends would not have been served. 

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