Leadership

Giving up the “Good” to do the “Great”

Ask my husband and he will tell you I have a real hard time saying “No”. I can be a real giving person with little to no regard to the how, the outcome or, worse yet, how it will affect me.

I recently said “yes” to something without thinking everything through. I just knew it was for a good cause and I kept rationalizing that “it was for a good cause.”

As the days came and went and the weeks came and went, my anxiety and panic attacks increased. I blamed it on being re-triggered from the motorcycle accident.

As the event that I was going to be a part of was getting ready to take place, my anxiety increased to the point that I could not handle it and I had to walk away at the last minute.

As soon as I walked away, my anxiety subsided. I could not believe it, could it have been that easy?

I am not sure if you are like me but I like to fix things. I want to fix people. I have a real hard time with “boundaries” all in the name of “it was for a really good cause” or “they really needed my help.”

A major thing that I have had to deal with these past few weeks, which is NOT in my DNA as a first born, take charge, make it happen, bull in the china shop personality is; it is not my responsibility to fix everything or everyone.

God gives each of us gifts but more importantly He gives us a calling.

I am gifted in many things and it’s ok to do those things once in a while. For example, I love to have people over for dinner, but I am NOT called to be a caterer (yes, I do know that: been there, done that).

God over the past few years has been giving me subtle hints that my ministry was going to start taking on a different look. I was so set in my “no, it has to look this way” that I did not listen.

Just recently I realized that I have been doing a lot of good things, at the expense of not doing the great.

Part of my new learning experience is “boundaries” and asking the question: what is this going to cost and is God asking me to do this or is it part of my human DNA of wanting to help?

My question for you as you wrote down your goals yesterday:

What is God asking you to stop doing, which may be “good”, but He wants you to do something “great?”

Giving myself permission NOT to be Competitive against myself

Have you ever been to or watched a bidding war? And the person who really wanted to win starts bidding against themselves?

I feel that since January 2011, I have been bidding against myself and didn’t know it; I just knew that the PTSD was not going to win. I had to overcome it and be healed.

Sometimes God does not take away the “thorn” and you (I), have to be OK with that.

My new normal started in 2011, but today 2015, four and three-quarter years after the attack I am still bidding against myself.

I still use that dysfunctional coping skill I learned so well growing up; “act as if nothing happened”, and just keep doing things the way you have always done them.

I read the book “The Go-Giver” by Bob Burg and John David Mann the other night. In the book a statement was made: “what you focus on, is what you get”.

I realized that I have been focusing so much on “overcoming” the PTSD that I continue being competitive with myself instead of taking the words Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 12: 7-10. You will find them here, this is from the Message (a paraphrase version)

Because of the extravagance of those revelations, and so I wouldn’t get a big head, I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan’s angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn’t think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me,

My grace is enough; it’s all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness. Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ’s strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.

So my question to you is: what’s your thorn that you are trying desperate to be healed from and maybe God is saying “if you continue to focus on being healed, you won’t focus on Me and what I want to do with you”.

Remember today is a new day, no matter how bad yesterday was, no matter how bad your past….the only thing under consideration is your very next step….so make it count.

 

**** secondary***** I have attached a goal sheet. Less than 3% of people actually obtain their goals and the number 1 reason is because they are not written down. So here is a goal sheet for you to use. It’ll be interesting to see when we get to the end of the week how well you stayed on task and actually accomplished the goals.

Goals sheet participant Goals sheet participant