church planting

Lord I am sorry for what I have made it

Almost twenty years ago my husband found these verses in Romans. We quickly adopted them as our life verses. 

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Romans 12:1-2 (NIV)

We decided in 2002 that we were no longer going to go with the flow of society but go against the grain.  We were going to live this out every day. We would renew our mind and be transformed. We wanted to offer our bodies as a living sacrifice. We were ready to go and do what the Lord asked us to do. 

Fast forward to 2020. I have always known there was a “therefore” to start Romans 12. I had also been told that you always need to stop and find out what the “therefore”is there for. 

Ok I get it better late than never right? 

I decided to just go back one chapter to 11, and start reading. Wow! I think I had skipped that chapter in all my readings. Paul is giving his partial resume, then he is talking about how we have been grafted into the family of God. I was really loving it until I turned the page in my Bible and read verse 35. 

“Who has ever given to God, that God should repay them?

In following the rabbit trail of reference verses it took me to Job chapter 41 verse 11. God is talking: 

Who has a claim against Me that I must pay? Everything under heaven belongs to Me.

Why did those verses bring me to my knees? Because I need to repent. I cannot tell you how many times I have prayed this prayer; 

“Lord thank you for allowing me to be your hands and feet.” 

Then in the next breath would come this… 

“Lord when will it be my turn to see a blessing? I have done all this for You. When, Lord? I am tired.”

When God showed us the verses in Romans it was supposed to be a motto to live by. It ended up being the foundation to a ministry that was extremely taxing, not just monetarily, but also physically and mentally. 

I am forever grateful that I was afforded the opportunity to be in full time ministry for so long. I am not proud of the jealousy, competition, and the business it became. Instead of a time to walk in a relationship similar to the outline found in Titus 2, it became about numbers of lives changed on a spreadsheet in order to keep the funders happy. 

And in turn my prayer was no longer, “God I offer my body as a living sacrifice,” but “Lord, look what I am giving up. So what’s in it for me?”

My prayer for 2021 is going to be, Lord, I offer myself. Grant me knowledge and wisdom that can only come from you. Lord embolden me to tell others about Your greatness, not because of what You may or may not do, but because of Who You are.” 

Our job as Christ followers is to glorify God for no other reason than because He Is the Great I AM. I will end with Psalms 145:1-3 (NIV)


I will exalt you, my God the King; I will praise your name for ever and ever. Every day I will praise you and extol your name for ever and ever. Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise; His greatness no one can fathom.

Fanning into Flames

For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands. 2 Timothy 1:6

Have you ever had a common theme keep showing up? And I don’t mean because you are reading a book in a series or going through a Bible study that is dealing with a particular subject.

I am talking about out of the blue, you are driving and you see an object. Then you get home and there it is again. You turn on your favorite television show and now they are talking about it. Then before you go to bed you are scrolling on social media and there’s an article or meme that talks about the same thing?

When this happens to me, by about the third encounter, I start to take notice. But when God keeps putting in my path, I decide it’s time to ask Him why?

The past month I have either heard or seen something related to, “Fan into Flames.”

I have heard songs on the radio about being on fire for your city.

Even radio personalities have talked about embers and how you need to blow on them to get the fire going. They were actually talking about a bonfire and roasting marshmallows, but it was another encounter that God used to get my attention.

I knew there was a verse about fanning into flame the gift of God, but didn’t stop to put in the time to research it. Then as I was listening to a podcast about the Holy Spirit, I wrote this down,

“The Spirit can’t fill you when you are filled with so much of the world. Is your life on fire for the wrong things?”

OUCH!

Again though I didn’t stop like God wanted me to, I just wrote it and kept on with my day.

As I was scrolling my photos, this meme was front and center. I had forgotten I saved it as a picture. I decided it was time to sit before the Lord and look for that verse. I found it in Timothy but just like God, it starts with the phrase, “For this Reason”. When you see these words or “likewise, therefore, etc” you need to read above it to find out what it is referring to.

Here in Timothy, Paul is saying, “I am reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also.” Paul is reminding Timothy of his heritage in the faith, then he says “for this reason… fan into flame the gift of God…”

God has given me gifts.

I have the gift of encouragement.

The gift of teaching.

The gift of healing (emotional).

The gift of intercessory prayer.

Over the past few years, I have put those gifting’s on the back burner. Even to the point that I haven’t used them.

But God…

So I thought it was just about the “fan into flames….” but the verses after this I think are just as important and something He wanted me to start remembering, and therefore start being obedient to His guidance.

For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline. So do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord or of me His prisoner. Rather, join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God.

Do I want to “suffer” again, by being beaten?

NO! But “suffering” this time, has taken on a different form.

It required moving over 800 miles away from family and comfort. It moved me to a place where pictures make it look like Paradise and a life of luxury.

The truth is, there is no way to spin it, I once again know what it means to suffer for the gospel, and I am learning to lean into the power of God, fan into flames the gifts I have been equipped with, stand firm in the power of the Spirit and not be ashamed of the testimony God has given me or of His testimony as to why we are here.

Truth be told, all He asked was to Follow Him

For the past 2 weeks I have been fighting with God about a prescription I received almost a year ago. It read, “must have Florida Beach time often over the next year perhaps permanently.”  This prescription was given in response to my doctor telling me I needed to see a pulmonary specialist.  I told him it would have to wait 3 weeks seeing we were heading to Florida for family time and a church planting conference. In which he said the Florida air would do my lungs good.

More Florida Beach time

With prescription in hand, we headed to Florida.

That prescription was a catalyst that God used to get our hearts to be thinking of Florida.  I was under the assumption that once I moved to Florida then my asthma type symptoms would magically disappear. Instead for me and my body, (if you have followed any of my story), I don’t fit the mold. So why would I expect this to be any different?

I have been to a walk-in clinic now 3 times since our move to Florida.  I am on the exact same schedule I have been on since 2017.  Every 45-60 days.

I have made every excuse.

I cheated on my diet.

I was in the cold weather.

I was traveling.

For the past 18 months or so I have told doctors and myself.  “God is going to heal me. I just need to work out a few more things with my past. I just need to quit cheating on my dietary restrictions.”

In November, I was told that if I had one more flare up then I would need to see a specialist. Well today I once again found myself in the walk-in clinic.  The Doctor was not so pleasant.  She let me know without a shadow of a doubt I needed to find a primary care doctor sooner than later and get this under control.

So why this blog?

I had to come to grips that even though the prescription is part of our church planting story and why Cape Coral Florida, God knew I would need something that was of benefit to get my mind around moving 823 miles from my grandchildren and children.

Not being on steroids every 45-60 days and living in an area that is by the ocean and beautiful, was a great incentive and plus at that time we could do our job from anywhere. We were traveling for work 30-40 weeks out of the year anyway and it really didn’t matter where we started from.

By the end of February though, we were being called to plant a church, God even gave us handwriting on the wall, an 18-wheeler appearing out of nowhere as I am driving to the doctor because I am once again having an asthma flare up.

Fast forward to the past couple of months.  Nothing I thought would happen when we got here has come through. Everything I had put in motion to make the transition to Florida not feel so lonely, has fallen through.  And to top it off, I have been in the walk-in clinic 3 times since arriving.

I have silently been dealing with rejection and feeling like I was short changed. I have asked God to heal me. I have praised God for healing me. I have worked through more of my past. I have cried. I have laughed. I have screamed. And recently I have questioned.  Why? Why are you not healing me? I have faith. I believe. Why are you not healing me?

Then God gives me a flock of Ibis’s in the Wal-Mart parking lot.  To remind me He did heal me of my PTSD and there is no way I would have been able to move to a new area and plant a church with the anxiety and PTSD I had lived with for many years.

But God why are you not healing me of my asthma symptoms? Why did you bring me down here under false pretenses?

Then I read a book called Prodigal God by Tim Keller.

In the book was a story that went something like this.

Jesus says to pick up a stone and follow me.  You look around and because Jesus didn’t give you any specifications you pick up a small pebble and put it in your pocket.  A few miles down the road Jesus says to take your stone and place it in front of you.  He turns your “stone” into food.  You get very little because your stone is a pebble, others who were carrying bigger stones had much to eat because the food was commensurate to the size of the “stone.” Jesus now asks you to pick up another stone and follow Him. This time because you saw what He did for lunch you pick up the biggest stone you can find. You struggle and struggle. Finally, you get to a lake and Jesus says, “throw your stone in the lake.”   There is no food or any reward for carrying the big rock.  Jesus sees your frustration and He simple says, “All I asked you to do was follow me.”

As I was reading this sobbing, all God asked was, for me to follow Him. He also reminded me that the prescription came from man not God. God used it, but today I really know the meaning of the Proverbs.

In their hearts humans plan their course,
    but the Lord establishes their steps.
Proverbs 16:9 (NIV)

You can make many plans,
    but the Lord’s purpose will prevail.
Proverbs 19:21 (NLT)

 

Church Planters Cape Coral FL

I know beyond a shadow of a doubt if we had not moved we would have been disobedient.  But I am still human and as I was having a pity-party wondering what I had done wrong and why God had not healed me yet of my asthma symptoms, He reminded me that sometimes healing comes in the form of modern medicine I need to be okay with that and praise God for it.  And that the prescription for more Florida beach time was just a “sign” God used to get me ready for the next chapter our book He is writing with our lives.

To follow our church plant click the link  Restoration Christian Church

New Chapter, Making a Difference

The theme of the conference is Dream Big. We all have dreams and goals, but do we really have the expectation that God is going to answer? Yesterday I kept hearing, “you say you have faith, then why don’t you act upon that faith?”
Am I too much of a realist being a first born and having an “A” type personality? Or growing up having to become self-sufficient at a very early age if I wanted something?
It was also said yesterday, “we are kept from our goals not by obstacles, but by a clearer path to a lesser goal”.

On top of all that has been said, usually if God brings something into my path 3 times I need to listen.

Yesterday at a breakfast for women, the speaker (a man), spoke on Mary and Martha.

He was talking about how Mary was sitting at the feet of Jesus.

Here is the story in Luke 10:
“As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, He came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to Him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what He said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to Him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

According to Barnes notes on the Bible
“Sat at Jesus’ feet” – This was the ancient posture of disciples or learners. They sat at the “feet” of their teachers – that is, beneath them, in a humble place. When it is said that Mary sat at Jesus’ feet”, it means that she was “a disciple” of His; that she listened attentively to His instructions, and was anxious to learn His doctrine.
She was welcome at the table, to learn and become “a disciple”.

According to Gotquestions.org
The Greek term for “disciple” in the New Testament is mathetes, which means more than just “student” or “learner.” A disciple is a “follower,” someone who adheres completely to the teachings of another, making them his rule of life and conduct. Jesus’ followers were called “disciples” long before they were ever called “Christians.” Their discipleship began with Jesus’ call and required them to exercise their will to follow Him

Jesus was quite explicit about the cost of following Him. Discipleship requires a totally committed life.

Over the past 15 years I have devoted my life to learning, teaching and pouring into others. A saying was used years ago by a local pastor “making Disciples that make a difference”.

Today, I feel I am on a new mission, because even though God has allowed me to see many people be transformed in the way they live, if I really take a hard look at myself…. I have failed at the second part of the mission God placed me on many years ago….making Disciples that make a difference.

I panicked and became the church

In 2011 I was in an interview that would change my life.

We were in what I have named, “the weekend from hell”.

During this weekend, little sleep was given and you were put to all kinds of tests. The objective was to see if you were called to plant a church.

Even though I can’t go into many details of the weekend, I want to share this one event, because even today, 5 years later I think back to that day and say, “Who was that, that was not me.”speaking

My task was to teach a mock Sunday school class. I had to come up with original material and it could not be anything I had already written or taught on. I stayed up late preparing and was excited for the task the next day.

The day progressed and it was finally my time.  I was being judged and in my class was the wife of the leader. I was so nervous because this was a church planting assessment, so I had picked a good ole church passage and church lesson. I was all out of sorts, because if you know me this is NOT how I write or teach. I share from my heart; I share what God has been showing me.  I DON’T flat out make up a Sunday school lesson.

The participants were kind as I started and was fumbling along.  Then out of left field, one of the participants took on a “character” that was definitely not someone who would voluntarily come to church.

This characters line of questioning and her answers threw me and I panicked. My husband said, “I would not have believed it if hadn’t seen it with my own eyes. You panicked and became the church.”

There was no compassion to find out who this person was.  There was no, “Hey’ let’s get lunch afterwards.” There was no, “Lets finish this lesson, because it sounds like you have many questions, maybe we could meet for coffee.”

No it was—- well we will put the lesson aside and you WILL become a Christian, right here….right now.

Needless to say I flunked that interview, but what I did learn was that I cannot change the way I teach Bible because I was being interviewed. God has gifted me to use real life situations, accompanied with His word to bring people to a transformed way of living and ultimately into relationship with Him. For that I am eternally grateful.

The valuable lesson I learned that day; stay true to how God created me to teach His word.