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Fanning into Flames

For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands. 2 Timothy 1:6

Have you ever had a common theme keep showing up? And I don’t mean because you are reading a book in a series or going through a Bible study that is dealing with a particular subject.

I am talking about out of the blue, you are driving and you see an object. Then you get home and there it is again. You turn on your favorite television show and now they are talking about it. Then before you go to bed you are scrolling on social media and there’s an article or meme that talks about the same thing?

When this happens to me, by about the third encounter, I start to take notice. But when God keeps putting in my path, I decide it’s time to ask Him why?

The past month I have either heard or seen something related to, “Fan into Flames.”

I have heard songs on the radio about being on fire for your city.

Even radio personalities have talked about embers and how you need to blow on them to get the fire going. They were actually talking about a bonfire and roasting marshmallows, but it was another encounter that God used to get my attention.

I knew there was a verse about fanning into flame the gift of God, but didn’t stop to put in the time to research it. Then as I was listening to a podcast about the Holy Spirit, I wrote this down,

“The Spirit can’t fill you when you are filled with so much of the world. Is your life on fire for the wrong things?”

OUCH!

Again though I didn’t stop like God wanted me to, I just wrote it and kept on with my day.

As I was scrolling my photos, this meme was front and center. I had forgotten I saved it as a picture. I decided it was time to sit before the Lord and look for that verse. I found it in Timothy but just like God, it starts with the phrase, “For this Reason”. When you see these words or “likewise, therefore, etc” you need to read above it to find out what it is referring to.

Here in Timothy, Paul is saying, “I am reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also.” Paul is reminding Timothy of his heritage in the faith, then he says “for this reason… fan into flame the gift of God…”

God has given me gifts.

I have the gift of encouragement.

The gift of teaching.

The gift of healing (emotional).

The gift of intercessory prayer.

Over the past few years, I have put those gifting’s on the back burner. Even to the point that I haven’t used them.

But God…

So I thought it was just about the “fan into flames….” but the verses after this I think are just as important and something He wanted me to start remembering, and therefore start being obedient to His guidance.

For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline. So do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord or of me His prisoner. Rather, join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God.

Do I want to “suffer” again, by being beaten?

NO! But “suffering” this time, has taken on a different form.

It required moving over 800 miles away from family and comfort. It moved me to a place where pictures make it look like Paradise and a life of luxury.

The truth is, there is no way to spin it, I once again know what it means to suffer for the gospel, and I am learning to lean into the power of God, fan into flames the gifts I have been equipped with, stand firm in the power of the Spirit and not be ashamed of the testimony God has given me or of His testimony as to why we are here.

Put on Your Happy Face… we’re headed to church


As she walked down the sidewalk the sounds of vehicles engines permeated the arctic blast that found its way to the South.  Hurrying across the street she contemplated a tall, decaf, peppermint soy mocha, but as she walked up to  the door she second guessed herself.  What would he say? Would he ask why she felt the need to spend $5 on that stupid drink?

The two boys were still sitting outside on the sidewalk trying to get people to say hi or at least smile.  She didn’t feel like smiling. She felt like screaming. Tomorrow was church and she would have put on her happy, everything is ok face.

If you happen to read this before you go to church in the morning…. Watch for this person… They may be 15, 25 or 55….

Romans 12…don’t just pretend to love others…really love them.  

Church is to be a safe place.  Ask God to make you aware of your surroundings and watch for the hurting people that are sitting in the pew next to you. Pray for them and maybe, just maybe through your touch tomorrow they will feel the presence of The Lord.

Ask God to use you.

Update: I wrote this 5 years ago and with the rate of suicide increasing in the church and the pulpit I felt the need to re-share it. Just again this week another Pastor took his life.  Please do more than just pray for people, be a true friend that is present.

Truth be told, all He asked was to Follow Him

For the past 2 weeks I have been fighting with God about a prescription I received almost a year ago. It read, “must have Florida Beach time often over the next year perhaps permanently.”  This prescription was given in response to my doctor telling me I needed to see a pulmonary specialist.  I told him it would have to wait 3 weeks seeing we were heading to Florida for family time and a church planting conference. In which he said the Florida air would do my lungs good.

More Florida Beach time

With prescription in hand, we headed to Florida.

That prescription was a catalyst that God used to get our hearts to be thinking of Florida.  I was under the assumption that once I moved to Florida then my asthma type symptoms would magically disappear. Instead for me and my body, (if you have followed any of my story), I don’t fit the mold. So why would I expect this to be any different?

I have been to a walk-in clinic now 3 times since our move to Florida.  I am on the exact same schedule I have been on since 2017.  Every 45-60 days.

I have made every excuse.

I cheated on my diet.

I was in the cold weather.

I was traveling.

For the past 18 months or so I have told doctors and myself.  “God is going to heal me. I just need to work out a few more things with my past. I just need to quit cheating on my dietary restrictions.”

In November, I was told that if I had one more flare up then I would need to see a specialist. Well today I once again found myself in the walk-in clinic.  The Doctor was not so pleasant.  She let me know without a shadow of a doubt I needed to find a primary care doctor sooner than later and get this under control.

So why this blog?

I had to come to grips that even though the prescription is part of our church planting story and why Cape Coral Florida, God knew I would need something that was of benefit to get my mind around moving 823 miles from my grandchildren and children.

Not being on steroids every 45-60 days and living in an area that is by the ocean and beautiful, was a great incentive and plus at that time we could do our job from anywhere. We were traveling for work 30-40 weeks out of the year anyway and it really didn’t matter where we started from.

By the end of February though, we were being called to plant a church, God even gave us handwriting on the wall, an 18-wheeler appearing out of nowhere as I am driving to the doctor because I am once again having an asthma flare up.

Fast forward to the past couple of months.  Nothing I thought would happen when we got here has come through. Everything I had put in motion to make the transition to Florida not feel so lonely, has fallen through.  And to top it off, I have been in the walk-in clinic 3 times since arriving.

I have silently been dealing with rejection and feeling like I was short changed. I have asked God to heal me. I have praised God for healing me. I have worked through more of my past. I have cried. I have laughed. I have screamed. And recently I have questioned.  Why? Why are you not healing me? I have faith. I believe. Why are you not healing me?

Then God gives me a flock of Ibis’s in the Wal-Mart parking lot.  To remind me He did heal me of my PTSD and there is no way I would have been able to move to a new area and plant a church with the anxiety and PTSD I had lived with for many years.

But God why are you not healing me of my asthma symptoms? Why did you bring me down here under false pretenses?

Then I read a book called Prodigal God by Tim Keller.

In the book was a story that went something like this.

Jesus says to pick up a stone and follow me.  You look around and because Jesus didn’t give you any specifications you pick up a small pebble and put it in your pocket.  A few miles down the road Jesus says to take your stone and place it in front of you.  He turns your “stone” into food.  You get very little because your stone is a pebble, others who were carrying bigger stones had much to eat because the food was commensurate to the size of the “stone.” Jesus now asks you to pick up another stone and follow Him. This time because you saw what He did for lunch you pick up the biggest stone you can find. You struggle and struggle. Finally, you get to a lake and Jesus says, “throw your stone in the lake.”   There is no food or any reward for carrying the big rock.  Jesus sees your frustration and He simple says, “All I asked you to do was follow me.”

As I was reading this sobbing, all God asked was, for me to follow Him. He also reminded me that the prescription came from man not God. God used it, but today I really know the meaning of the Proverbs.

In their hearts humans plan their course,
    but the Lord establishes their steps.
Proverbs 16:9 (NIV)

You can make many plans,
    but the Lord’s purpose will prevail.
Proverbs 19:21 (NLT)

 

Church Planters Cape Coral FL

I know beyond a shadow of a doubt if we had not moved we would have been disobedient.  But I am still human and as I was having a pity-party wondering what I had done wrong and why God had not healed me yet of my asthma symptoms, He reminded me that sometimes healing comes in the form of modern medicine I need to be okay with that and praise God for it.  And that the prescription for more Florida beach time was just a “sign” God used to get me ready for the next chapter our book He is writing with our lives.

To follow our church plant click the link  Restoration Christian Church

Should we be looking for the Pink Slime?

I am studying 2 Thessalonians with a group of young women.

In chapter 2 it says: For the secret power of lawlessness is already at work. This is Paul speaking in the 50’s AD.  Here we are in 2018. If Paul was warning the Christians over 1900 years ago to be aware because the secret power of lawlessness was already at work, how much more should we, as Christ followers, be mindful today?

Yet every day the news is filled with fellow human beings fighting each other.

After living in Memphis during the late 80’s early 90’s, we would joke that there had to be a river of pink slime flowing under the city.

(See video from Ghostbusters if you aren’t familiar with the pink slime)

But the longer I live, I am more inclined to think the river is flowing from one end of the country to the next, and is finding every tributary it can, to spread.

This chapter goes on to say that “The coming of the lawless one will be in accordance with how satan works. He will use all sorts of displays of power through signs and wonders that serve the lie, and all the ways that wickedness deceives those who are perishing. They perish because they refused to love the truth and so be saved. For this reason God sends them a powerful delusion so that they will believe the lie and so that all will be condemned who have not believed the truth but have delighted in wickedness.”

As I think about these scriptures, and think about all the negativity that has been created in our society. I am saddened that so many Christians have sat down, tired of running the race according to Gods standards and are embracing the worlds standards.

In Romans 1:28, it says that there will be a time when God will give us over to our depraved, (immoral, evil, wicked, corrupt) mind because we don’t think it is worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God.

If Paul felt it was worth the warning over 1900 years ago, how much more should we heed the warning today.

2 Thessalonians 2:7-12 NIV

For the secret power of lawlessness is already at work; but the one who now holds it back will continue to do so till he is taken out of the way.  And then the lawless one will be revealed, whom the Lord Jesus will overthrow with the breath of his mouth and destroy by the splendor of his coming. The coming of the lawless one will be in accordance with how Satan works. He will use all sorts of displays of power through signs and wonders that serve the lie, and all the ways that wickedness deceives those who are perishing. They perish because they refused to love the truth and so be saved. For this reason God sends them a powerful delusion so that they will believe the lie and so that all will be condemned who have not believed the truth but have delighted in wickedness.

Romans 1:28-32 NIV

Furthermore, just as they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, so God gave them over to a depraved mind, so that they do what ought not to be done.  They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; they have no understanding, no fidelity, no love, no mercy.  Although they know God’s righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them.

 

Catch 22

This is a repost from my old blog site (the180program.blogspot.com) but it has been my heart recently as I have seen once again people who are giving up becuase they think its easier or its the only way.

The truth is……

Most of the men and women we work with are not considered law abiding citizens.

Let me give you an example of a catch 22.

A lady gets out of jail and we are working diligently with her to get a job.  She says she has an old friend that can help and given some of her circumstances we say ok.

After working a few days we start asking questions because he has already helped her and we need his help again.

She stalls and avoids the questioning, finally she comes out and tells us that he is expecting payment for helping.  Sexual payment.  Now I am connecting the dots.  He used to be her pimp.

Ok so lets find a new way…

When you are out trying to do things right it takes a while to reprogram “debilitating mentalities”.  All the while you are trying to change you still have to fight daily the demons of your past that don’t want you to have a better future.

Today I wake up to a message that things have gone badly.  She thought she was going to a friends that was safe (usually safe for those we work with means you did not use with them, have sex with them or any other illegal activity with them, even though they do that, you just never did it with them). Well someone else also came over and he held her hostage, raped her and beat her.

For most, the logical choice is to call the police.

But not so much for those who are just NOW becoming law abiding citizens.

You see somewhere in their mind of demons and debilitating mentalities…. She is hearing….

“You did something to deserve this”

“No one will believe you because you’re just a prostitute”.

“You call the police, they won’t believe you, look at your rap sheet”.

So the truth is….. Trying to change takes a new village.  It takes lots of “healthy people”, walking daily and not judging.

The hardest part in walking with someone is to know when “their excuses” are just an excuse to not change, because change is hard and brings responsibility and they are not ready for the success that change will bring.

And the second thing is when walking with someone and they “slip up, relapse, go to their old behaviors”… To not judge so harshly that you say “screw this, you’re not worth my time”, and walk away.

Your relationship may change, but we don’t add to the shame by saying “I knew you’d mess up.  I knew you couldn’t do it”.

That does not help anyone get healthy.

If you are someone who is walking in relationship with someone that fits this model, and you would like more information on how to effectively minister to them please fill out the following form:

The Very First Single Mom

Over the years Rob and I have had many women walk in and out of our lives.

Lately, though I have been thinking about the very first single mom who walked into our lives.

I can see us pulling up to the gas station on Briley Parkway waiting for her to walk up from the hill with her belongings in tow.

I can still see her sitting at the glass topped, wrought iron white kitchen table in our 2 bedroom apartment at the corner of Nolensville Rd and Ocala Drive, she was showing me her senior picture and rubbing her baby bump as we spoke.  We did not have much and had only been married a short time, but we did have an extra bed.

She shared a room with our little girl who was only a year herself.  We did what we could to help her as she had chosen life.  I took her to appointments and we waited patiently for that day to come where we would rush her to the hospital so she could deliver her baby.

That day finally came in the middle of the night.  Off to the hospital she and I went.  We were left to ourselves for the most part.  There was no birthing room for this mom. No friendly chatter from friends or family… just the beeps from the machines in a dark, windowless, tiny room that only fit a bed, a hard chair, like you would find at a conference and the needed machines. I found myself trying to get comfortable, as I was told this could take a while. Even though I was a mother, I would not know how long it was about to take, because my daughter decided she needed to (as the doctor said) come out the window.  I showed up at 6am and was prepped for surgery by 10am and by 10:21, my first born had made her appearance.

The time had come, the nurse walked in and said “Lets go have this baby”.  They put up the side rails, unlocked the wheels and off we went.  We were in the hallway about to enter an area of the hospital called the “Delivery Room”, when from behind us we heard a voice calling her name.

The nurse stops, and the bed comes to a stop in the middle of the hallway.  This person is starting to say things like, I am sorry I was not here for you, but now I am.

The nurse looks at her and then says, “you can only have one person, who will it be?”

I choose her.

They wheeled her through the double doors, along with her longtime friend by her side.  The doors closed and that was the last time we ever laid eyes on her again.

I don’t have a clue if the baby was a boy or a girl.  I don’t have a clue where she went when she left the hospital.

Over the years I think of her often, I even still have her senior picture on my desk.  The baby would be reaching the 30 year old mark.  I wonder if he or she went to school.  If he or she got married or even has kids themselves.

I believe that God allows me to go through things, to feel things, to even witness things in order to make me a better servant for Him.  But I have to say, for the first time in 30 years, as I was thinking back on our time with her, that I felt a strong sense of longing, like I think I would if I had given my child up for adoption.

I cannot explain this longing nor can I explain the why?  Except that God has recently brought to mind the need for more families and churches to get involved in the lives of women who choose life, to walk with them in relationship not just through the pregnancy, but also for as long as God asks you to so that she and the baby know that: You are my masterpiece created anew in Christ Jesus so you can do the good things God planned for you long ago. (Ephesians 2:10)

You saved my life for this?

After a recent conversation with a mom, we wanted to share her thoughts with the world.  

As much as I want to say thank you for stopping my mother that day, I have to ask you why?

Because you stopped her, she brought me into a life of dysfunction. She was only a child herself. 

I remember her telling me how she was headed into the clinic that Saturday morning. There were men and women lining the sidewalk, telling her this was not the answer.  But then you, you smiled and said “if you don’t go through with this, I will help you.”  I don’t know if it was your smile or the fact that she really wanted to change and have a life…whatever the reason, she did not go through with the abortion that day. You saved my life. I wish I could say thank you, but I want to know why?

Where were you when I received my first bruises?  They were not seen, but they were there and I still feel them today.  You see, every time we had to pack up and move, I never knew where she would be or who was picking me up from daycare.

Through her tears she would talk about you and how often you were there before I was born.  You would answer her phone calls and even take her out for coffee.  But I don’t remember you.  You were gone shortly after I was brought home from the hospital. As my mom tells me, you stopped answering her calls when you found out she was going home with “him.” I wish you would have asked her “Why?” You see, it was the only place she could go, she was not going to live on the street with a newborn. As crazy as this sounds, HE was the best option she had.  And now I live with the guilt that it was my fault. My mom reminded me of that often.

The bruises became bigger as I got older. I know mom wanted to change. She said she wanted to do something better with her life, but she didn’t know how.  I do remember that one time she was excited because a local church was starting a new program.  That excitement quickly faded when mom found out it was during the day, no child care was offered and none of her family would watch me so she could better her life. So back to “his” house we went; and yes I know mom, it was my fault.  Why, dear lady, did no one ever intervene when the black and blue marks showed up all over my body?

Why did you save my life that day?  Why did you intervene just to let me live in dysfunction? Was I not worthy enough to have a chance at a life?

Now I sit here repeating the only life I have ever known and I refuse to allow my little girl to go through what I did. The moving from place to place, the constant abuse, having her touched by men after I go to sleep because we need a place to stay for the night.

I refuse. She will not live with the fear of never knowing where we will live tomorrow or if I will be coming home. And I will not change my mind based upon a promise of someone who doesn’t even know my story. I’ve been down that road and look where it got me.

Nope, this will not be my daughter. She will not go through everything I did.  I will not bring her into this world, based on a promise of help.  I’ve seen your kind help and I know you can’t be trusted to do anything more than stop the abortion.

Congratulations you saved my life for this.

 

“Those” Women

As I sat in class I heard her speaking but my mind kept wandering…what about the women like me?

What about the ones who don’t look like you?

What about the ones that have fallen on hard times?

What about the ones who have or are addicted?

My brain snapped back to attention when I heard her say, ” well you have to be worth my time. You have to commit your time to meet with me.”

My thoughts started floating back to all the women God has put in my path who don’t look like me and have different circumstances in their life that I have walked with.

If I used her model of ministry, I am afraid to think of how many missed appointments I would have had, that God would hold me accountable for because I felt my time was more valuable than their growth and eternity.

She did finally talk about those that were “different”, and how excited she was that her and her “girls” we’re able to go and serve “those” women.

“Those” women are NOT a project.

“Those” women have potential too.

“Those” women were created in the image of God.

“Those” women are your neighbor and the ones the Priest and the Levite didn’t have time for either.

New Chapter, Making a Difference

The theme of the conference is Dream Big. We all have dreams and goals, but do we really have the expectation that God is going to answer? Yesterday I kept hearing, “you say you have faith, then why don’t you act upon that faith?”
Am I too much of a realist being a first born and having an “A” type personality? Or growing up having to become self-sufficient at a very early age if I wanted something?
It was also said yesterday, “we are kept from our goals not by obstacles, but by a clearer path to a lesser goal”.

On top of all that has been said, usually if God brings something into my path 3 times I need to listen.

Yesterday at a breakfast for women, the speaker (a man), spoke on Mary and Martha.

He was talking about how Mary was sitting at the feet of Jesus.

Here is the story in Luke 10:
“As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, He came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to Him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what He said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to Him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

According to Barnes notes on the Bible
“Sat at Jesus’ feet” – This was the ancient posture of disciples or learners. They sat at the “feet” of their teachers – that is, beneath them, in a humble place. When it is said that Mary sat at Jesus’ feet”, it means that she was “a disciple” of His; that she listened attentively to His instructions, and was anxious to learn His doctrine.
She was welcome at the table, to learn and become “a disciple”.

According to Gotquestions.org
The Greek term for “disciple” in the New Testament is mathetes, which means more than just “student” or “learner.” A disciple is a “follower,” someone who adheres completely to the teachings of another, making them his rule of life and conduct. Jesus’ followers were called “disciples” long before they were ever called “Christians.” Their discipleship began with Jesus’ call and required them to exercise their will to follow Him

Jesus was quite explicit about the cost of following Him. Discipleship requires a totally committed life.

Over the past 15 years I have devoted my life to learning, teaching and pouring into others. A saying was used years ago by a local pastor “making Disciples that make a difference”.

Today, I feel I am on a new mission, because even though God has allowed me to see many people be transformed in the way they live, if I really take a hard look at myself…. I have failed at the second part of the mission God placed me on many years ago….making Disciples that make a difference.

The “UN” of Forgiveness that can hold you Hostage

Forgiveness is a funny thing.

Did you know that anger’s root cause is from Unforgiveness.  I know this because I teach on it every day through The 180 Program.

A few years ago, and yes I just said a few years ago, I was in a meeting with a local pastor and a youth pastor.  It was soon after my attack and I was dealing with PTSD and anxiety but at that time did not know how to differentiate the actual attack PTSD/ anxiety and the anxiety I started feeling in this meeting as I was being “challenged”.

I walked out of that meeting and vowed never to return.  I would be cordial but I would not go out of my way to enter that building again as long as my life depended on it.

Today, in a state far from home at a conference far from home, that Pastor was teaching a workshop.

My body clenched and I was getting physically sick, but I heard God say…”you are to go to that workshop.”

Being obedient, I started walking in the direction of the classroom, without the security of my amazing husband, as he felt called to go to a different workshop.

I was one of the first to arrive and took a seat. Not to close and not too far back.

As the Pastor got up to speak, I felt my anxiety start to rise.  I quietly prayed for God to intercede and allow me to listen and learn from this man of God.

As satan always does, “Did God really say that?”

You see God was telling me as I was praying, that I needed to approach this man and tell him the offense and ask for forgiveness for holding a grudge.

As the meeting was ending, I was calm in my spirit and I knew I needed to take my chance and talk with him.  My prayer at this time was to keep my emotions at bay, and not let the crying start.

Well God did not answer that prayer, as I started to talk so did the tears.  It was very simple: You know you hurt me that day.  But more importantly I need to ask you to forgive me for harboring all these ill feelings.

He gave me a hug and asked for forgiveness also.

I walked out of that room feeling 100 lbs lighter than I have in years, but a something bigger was satan no longer had that control in my life.

Will we become buddy/buddy? Only the Lord knows.  But satan no longer has that hold on my life where I don’t feel I can NEVER walk into that church again.