Have you ever been to or watched a bidding war? And the person who really wanted to win starts bidding against themselves?
I feel that since January 2011, I have been bidding against myself and didn’t know it; I just knew that the PTSD was not going to win. I had to overcome it and be healed.
Sometimes God does not take away the “thorn” and you (I), have to be OK with that.
My new normal started in 2011, but today 2015, four and three-quarter years after the attack I am still bidding against myself.
I still use that dysfunctional coping skill I learned so well growing up; “act as if nothing happened”, and just keep doing things the way you have always done them.
I read the book “The Go-Giver” by Bob Burg and John David Mann the other night. In the book a statement was made: “what you focus on, is what you get”.
I realized that I have been focusing so much on “overcoming” the PTSD that I continue being competitive with myself instead of taking the words Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 12: 7-10. You will find them here, this is from the Message (a paraphrase version)
Because of the extravagance of those revelations, and so I wouldn’t get a big head, I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan’s angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn’t think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me,
My grace is enough; it’s all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness. Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ’s strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.
So my question to you is: what’s your thorn that you are trying desperate to be healed from and maybe God is saying “if you continue to focus on being healed, you won’t focus on Me and what I want to do with you”.
Remember today is a new day, no matter how bad yesterday was, no matter how bad your past….the only thing under consideration is your very next step….so make it count.
**** secondary***** I have attached a goal sheet. Less than 3% of people actually obtain their goals and the number 1 reason is because they are not written down. So here is a goal sheet for you to use. It’ll be interesting to see when we get to the end of the week how well you stayed on task and actually accomplished the goals.
