For the past 2 weeks I have been fighting with God about a prescription I received almost a year ago. It read, “must have Florida Beach time often over the next year perhaps permanently.” This prescription was given in response to my doctor telling me I needed to see a pulmonary specialist. I told him it would have to wait 3 weeks seeing we were heading to Florida for family time and a church planting conference. In which he said the Florida air would do my lungs good.
More Florida Beach time
With prescription in hand, we headed to Florida.
That prescription was a catalyst that God used to get our hearts to be thinking of Florida. I was under the assumption that once I moved to Florida then my asthma type symptoms would magically disappear. Instead for me and my body, (if you have followed any of my story), I don’t fit the mold. So why would I expect this to be any different?
I have been to a walk-in clinic now 3 times since our move to Florida. I am on the exact same schedule I have been on since 2017. Every 45-60 days.
I have made every excuse.
I cheated on my diet.
I was in the cold weather.
I was traveling.
For the past 18 months or so I have told doctors and myself. “God is going to heal me. I just need to work out a few more things with my past. I just need to quit cheating on my dietary restrictions.”
In November, I was told that if I had one more flare up then I would need to see a specialist. Well today I once again found myself in the walk-in clinic. The Doctor was not so pleasant. She let me know without a shadow of a doubt I needed to find a primary care doctor sooner than later and get this under control.
So why this blog?
I had to come to grips that even though the prescription is part of our church planting story and why Cape Coral Florida, God knew I would need something that was of benefit to get my mind around moving 823 miles from my grandchildren and children.
Not being on steroids every 45-60 days and living in an area that is by the ocean and beautiful, was a great incentive and plus at that time we could do our job from anywhere. We were traveling for work 30-40 weeks out of the year anyway and it really didn’t matter where we started from.
By the end of February though, we were being called to plant a church, God even gave us handwriting on the wall, an 18-wheeler appearing out of nowhere as I am driving to the doctor because I am once again having an asthma flare up.
Fast forward to the past couple of months. Nothing I thought would happen when we got here has come through. Everything I had put in motion to make the transition to Florida not feel so lonely, has fallen through. And to top it off, I have been in the walk-in clinic 3 times since arriving.
I have silently been dealing with rejection and feeling like I was short changed. I have asked God to heal me. I have praised God for healing me. I have worked through more of my past. I have cried. I have laughed. I have screamed. And recently I have questioned. Why? Why are you not healing me? I have faith. I believe. Why are you not healing me?
Then God gives me a flock of Ibis’s in the Wal-Mart parking lot. To remind me He did heal me of my PTSD and there is no way I would have been able to move to a new area and plant a church with the anxiety and PTSD I had lived with for many years.
But God why are you not healing me of my asthma symptoms? Why did you bring me down here under false pretenses?
Then I read a book called Prodigal God by Tim Keller.
In the book was a story that went something like this.
Jesus says to pick up a stone and follow me. You look around and because Jesus didn’t give you any specifications you pick up a small pebble and put it in your pocket. A few miles down the road Jesus says to take your stone and place it in front of you. He turns your “stone” into food. You get very little because your stone is a pebble, others who were carrying bigger stones had much to eat because the food was commensurate to the size of the “stone.” Jesus now asks you to pick up another stone and follow Him. This time because you saw what He did for lunch you pick up the biggest stone you can find. You struggle and struggle. Finally, you get to a lake and Jesus says, “throw your stone in the lake.” There is no food or any reward for carrying the big rock. Jesus sees your frustration and He simple says, “All I asked you to do was follow me.”
As I was reading this sobbing, all God asked was, for me to follow Him. He also reminded me that the prescription came from man not God. God used it, but today I really know the meaning of the Proverbs.
In their hearts humans plan their course,
but the Lord establishes their steps.
Proverbs 16:9 (NIV)
You can make many plans,
but the Lord’s purpose will prevail.
Proverbs 19:21 (NLT)
Church Planters Cape Coral FL
I know beyond a shadow of a doubt if we had not moved we would have been disobedient. But I am still human and as I was having a pity-party wondering what I had done wrong and why God had not healed me yet of my asthma symptoms, He reminded me that sometimes healing comes in the form of modern medicine I need to be okay with that and praise God for it. And that the prescription for more Florida beach time was just a “sign” God used to get me ready for the next chapter our book He is writing with our lives.
To follow our church plant click the link Restoration Christian Church
